For the past few months, I’ve been working on a book of essays: a collection mined from a pile of drafts I wrote four and five years ago, which has had me combing through a lot of personal archives. I’ve been writing nonfiction (for the most part) for nine years now, but even before that, … Continue reading A flawed beginning

The other day, a friend sent me a link to an episode of Radiolab called "In the Running." It's about Diane Van Deren, an ultra-runner who began running as a way to stave off seizures caused by epilepsy. When the seizures started to outsmart the running (along with several other methods of treatment), doctors were … Continue reading What is that to you?

Ten years ago this week, I went to a cabin on Whidbey Island to finish the novel-in-stories that had begun as my master’s thesis. I went, and I finished, and I promptly had a nervous breakdown. My life, until that point, had had a singular focus: to become a published novelist. It was my reason … Continue reading I am where you are

I could say any number of things about this last week. How when the power went out on Sunday night, just as I’d started to wash dishes, I let myself believe what, if anything, this past year should’ve taught me not to believe: maybe it won’t last long. How, after seven years of living in … Continue reading Ice

The Wieliczka Salt Mine in southern Poland was in operation for eight hundred years. It has nine levels, goes 1,000 feet deep, and has over 100 miles of tunnels. Over time, miners began to make carvings in the walls, and when they wanted places to pray, they began to carve chapels. The mine now has … Continue reading Treasures of darkness

I have always considered myself to be a careful reader, and so, I cannot explain why it has taken me nearly twenty-five years of reading the Bible to notice that the tree of life was also in the Garden. It says it right there in Genesis 2:9, “In the middle of the garden were the … Continue reading Do not fear

When I think of Easter Sunday, I inevitably think of Croatia, of myself running on wet cobblestone along the Adriatic, running in a wind-swept storm while the clang of church bells sailed into my ears from the ancient town along my left. My brother was in the hotel room. Most every citizen in Zadar was, … Continue reading Far enough

“How are you adjusting to the new normal?” This is the question I keep running into, and at every encounter, it sends a wave of alarm coursing through me. I will admit to something of a personal aversion to the phrase. When my father died, it’s what everyone kept telling me I’d find: “the new … Continue reading Temporary insanity

At the start of last year, God gave me a word, which was to be my touchstone in the year to come: joy. It was the kind of thing, if I did not know Him better, I would've taken as mockery, for my life at the time was anything but joyful, nor had it been … Continue reading Joy

At the Acoma Pueblo in New Mexico, white ladders lean against the mud-brick buildings. The tops of these ladders have been sharpened to a point, to tear holes in the sky and let the prayers through. The association between God and sky is one I understand. Wherever I’m living or staying, I choose a prayer … Continue reading To the new year